To All You Young INTJ Females

Since I’m an INTJ, you’ll expect me to define “young”. In this case, it’s anybody younger than me. I am 57, going on about 80.

I’ve just spent the last hour searching http://wordpress.com/tag/INTJ.

I think every single article I came across was by someone 30, or younger. How can I tell? Because old INTJ females (maybe I should only speak for myself here) have either:

• gotten tired of talking about how misunderstood we are
• have found a handful of friends we can actually trust and relate to, and we’re happy with that
• given up and have settled nicely into a relationship with a good book and a nice cat

What an Older INTJ Woman Would Tell Younger INTJ Women

I did find myself wishing that more young INTJs females would search out older INTJ females for mentoring, advice, etc. Oh, the pain I could save them! Here’s what I would share:

• if men find you beautiful, expect most woman to feel threatened by you
• if you find that you talk more easily to men than women, except most woman to feel threatened by you
• if dumb men find you beautiful, expect them to want to dominate, control, and subdue your tendency to know more than they do. Dumb men, with fragile egos, tend to really dislike or ignore plain or ugly INTJ woman (lucky them), but for an INTJ woman they find attractive, a weird love/hate thing seems to rule their behavior and can make your life hell which manifests itself as something between wooing and utterly destroying you. Avoid them at all costs.
• if you enjoy watching Brothers in Arms, or the Civil War series, or documentaries about anything, or have a daily habit of using Brain Fit apps, keep it to yourself. You’ll just be perceived as a pretentious infomaniac
• always remember, you don’t have to share everything you know
• things you’re interested in aren’t that interesting to a lot of people. Find people that do share your interests
• test your skill set, temperament, aptitude, etc. as early as possible and pursue something, in that field or you’ll hate yourself for not doing so, when you’re 60.
• find a partner that sees your INTJ ways as  wonderful, not threatening
• find the balance between understanding yourself and what you need in a relationship, and understanding what others need. Appreciate the differences without getting too self-absorbed and introspective about yourself, or compromising too much in an effort to fit in with others.

 

Balance is Key